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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22524748">Being with you here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieBleu/pseuds/BillieBleu'>BillieBleu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>WTFock | Skam (Belgium)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic, Love, M/M, Summer, sander pov, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:41:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22524748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieBleu/pseuds/BillieBleu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's summer, exams are barely over, but after weeks of studying and stressing and not really seeing much of each other, Sander has plans for Robbe and himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>154</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Being with you here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was a good day, and it hadn’t even really started yet. Sander had his 80s rock playlist blasting out of the small speaker he had set on the bathroom sink. It was playing “Need you Tonight” by INXS as he came out of the shower. Hair wet, water dripping everywhere on and off the shower mat, Sander was half dancing, humming, making up lyrics as he went to fill the parts he didn’t know by heart. He had quickly patted himself dry, carelessly leaving plenty of skin patches covered in tiny droplets, and was about to brush his teeth, still dancing and humming, when he remembered the bathroom door was open. </p><p>He hadn’t been worried about it as Robbe’s Mom had left for work already, but he suddenly noticed Robbe looking at him from the corridor, with an amused smile on his face. </p><p>“Hi!” Sander said, smiling in turn.</p><p>“Hi,” Robbe answered with a laugh. “This is nice to wake up to.”</p><p>“Well, today is a good day.”</p><p>“It is?” Robbe asked.</p><p>“Yes. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, I feel good, and your exams are officially over.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t I be the one who’s excited my exams are over?” Robbe asked, teasing.</p><p>“I’ll have you know, I have every right to feel happy about that. You’ve been stressed and busy studying - as you should - but now I get to see you and spend time with you. To see the sun rise and the sun set with you, to sleep with you and...”</p><p>By then, Robbe had come closer, grabbed a towel, had started drying Sander’s hair, which had interrupted his explanations. Sander could feel Robbe trying to be as gentle as possible, massaging his scalp with the towel more than anything else. He hummed softly. Not with the music this time, which had changed to “Sweet Child of Mine” by then, but rather a contented hum, now that Robbe was awake and he found himself in his hands. Sander tried to maneuver to steal a kiss from underneath the towel on his head but Robbe stood firm, insisting on going on a little longer.</p><p>Finally, Sander managed to take the towel from his boyfriend. But before he could kiss him, Robbe’s lips were already on his, and Sander heard him make one those little happy noises that always made his heart flutter. Robbe interrupted the kiss to catch his breath and the thought of getting Robbe out of his underwear and tee-shirt and getting back into that shower with him started making its way into Sander’s mind, but he quickly pushed it aside. He had plans for them that day. </p><p>“It is a good day. And I’m so happy we get to spend more time together,” Robbe said, interrupting Sander’s thoughts. “I missed you. Missed this.”</p><p>“I missed you too.”</p><p>The day before, they had met up in the evening and had celebrated with Robbe’s friends and they’d spend the night together. But it wasn’t the same as this. Taking their time. Existing together for a while. Alone, with no rush, and nothing special to do. At least, nothing that Robbe knew of. The thought must have brought a smile to Sander’s face because he noticed Robbe frowning suspiciously.</p><p>“You’re up to something,” Robbe said. </p><p>“I’m not saying anything,” Sander immediately replied, taking a step back.</p><p>Robbe didn’t push though. </p><p>“Whatever it is, thank you. You don’t need to do anything for me, you know.”</p><p>“I know...</p><p>“Having you naked in my bathroom on this fine morning is more than enough,” Robbe added with a chuckle.</p><p>“Oh, I see how it is!” Sander said teasingly.</p><p>“But seriously...” Robbe insisted.</p><p>“I know. I want to. This is for us both.”</p><p>“Alright then.”</p><p>***<br/>Sander waited for Robbe to hop in the shower to put on his clothes as fast as he possibly could, grab Robbe’s keys, and run down to the bakery around the corner. Almost tripping over his untied shoelaces, checking he did have a few euros in his jean pocket, he thought about that time all those months ago when he’d done that for Robbe. As he paid for the croissants and started running back, hoping Robbe had not come out of the shower just yet, he remembered all the times Robbe had surprised him, taken care of him, loved him like he’d never been loved before. When he was at his worse, or when he was at his best. On good days, bad days, and just ordinary days. </p><p>As he ran up the stairs, he remembered coming home one evening to find Robbe in his kitchen, frowning at his phone screen, a table spoon in his left hand and at least 4 different bowls, pans, or containers of some sort in front of him on the counter. Something was cooking on the stove top and smoke was lazily coming out of the pot in graceful arabesques, before dissolving into less elegant puffs, and vanishing. Sander’s first instinct as he witnessed the scene had been to melt, of course, right then and there, and then to wonder if he should be worried, before realizing it actually smelled delicious. The boy, the love of his fucking life, man of his fucking dreams, who until a few months before could barely use kitchenware without breaking or burning something, had apparently been taking secret cooking lessons. And Sander had gone back to melting. Because Robbe was doing it for him. He knew that.</p><p>Truth was, Sander thought as he grabbed the keys to open Robbe’s front door, he’d never expected him to be so good at this “let’s surprise my boyfriend and make him really happy” game. He knew from the start Robbe had a heart as soft as a baby bird. But he did not expect to get so much love. He didn’t know it was even possible to receive so much, to come to a person again and again and for them to be waiting with so much love to give every time, always. But Robbe had taken care of him and surprised him with little attentions in every way possible. It made Sander’s heart feel like it was about to burst. And he wanted to give back double what he’d received. And part of him felt like he had to come up with new and amazing ways to love Robbe. </p><p>Not that it was a game, obviously. Or a competition. Sander knew - it had taken him a while to understand and accept it but he knew now - that Robbe would have been just as in love with him with or without the mural, or if they’d stayed in, eating instant noodles while sitting on his bedroom floor as he was on the evening of the surprise romantic picnic Sander had planned a few months before. But maybe it was precisely because Robbe never asked anything of him, because he didn’t ask for a bombastic love, for grandiose gestures, because he was content with a peaceful, quiet life, finding joy in small, small things, that Sander wanted to give him everything, to show Robbe how epic their love story was. And he couldn’t resist. When he got the chance he couldn’t resist making Robbe happy. </p><p>And so there he was, barely a foot inside Robbe’s apartment, keys in one hand, paper bag full of croissants in the other, his mind full of his love for his boyfriend, when the sight of Robbe, standing in the middle of the corridor, in his underwear and a tee-shirt, a slightly annoyed smile on his face, stopped him in his tracks.</p><p>“You...” Robbe started.</p><p>Sander, feeling that he might be in a bit of trouble, raised his left hand, holding the croissants tentatively, a sheepish smile on his face.</p><p>“Fresh croissants?”</p><p>Robbe walked the few steps that separated them, shaking his head in amused exasperation, and hit him in the chest softly, kissing him briefly. </p><p>“Sorry...” Sander apologized with a smile. “Couldn’t resist.”</p><p>Neither of them mentioned that morning months before when Sander had done the same thing. But Sander enjoyed creating echoes in the timeline of their own relationship. He chose them carefully and couldn’t wait for the time years into the future when he and Robbe would look back and see them all, like so many fairy lights guiding them along the way.</p><p>***<br/>In the kitchen they sat facing each other, the paper bag left open on the table between them. Immediately, Robbe took Sander’s right hand in his. He still looked a little annoyed, but it was like he couldn’t help playing with Sander’s hand, touching it, covering it with his own, stroking it with his thumb, all the while looking at Sander. And Sander let him of course. </p><p>“So that’s why you didn’t stay and take a shower with me,” Robbe finally said, pouting.</p><p>So that’s why Robbe seemed so disappointed, Sander thought! It wasn’t just about Sander leaving but about not taking a shower together.</p><p>“Oh my Love. I’m so sorry. It was a hard decision to take for me too, if that makes you feel better.”</p><p>“A little,” Robbe said in shy little voice, still looking sad.</p><p>“And it really was to get the croissants. I wouldn’t have passed on this opportunity -”</p><p>“- this absolute pleasure,” Robbe corrected him.</p><p>“- the pure delight and joy of being naked in the shower with you for anything else in the entire world.”</p><p>And he meant it. Anyways, if he was being honest, these last few weeks seeing so little of Robbe, away from the warmth of him, really had been hard on him. And he couldn’t wait to spend long hours with him under the covers, with nothing to do or worry about than being with him, being him, being with him. But he had plans. And they were a necessary step before getting to lazy days in the safety of his boyfriend’s arms. Robbe, in the meantime, was still pouting though.</p><p>“But we might be dead tomorrow,” he said in a whisper - a final attempt, puppy eyes and all.</p><p>That was one of the branches of Robbe’s belief system. There was the theory of the multiverse. And there was also this: the idea that we never know who will live or die tomorrow. So we might as well stop worrying, and focus on what we have today. Enjoy the little things. This was something that Robbe took very seriously, held very close to his heart, and that had gotten him through particularly tough times in his life. But on rare occasions, he had used this idea with a specific goal in mind, and that goal was sex with Sander. He would resort to playing that card, to using a personal philosophy for selfish purposes, when he knew it was the worst possible moment for what he was asking: when one of them was supposed to study; when they were late and expected somewhere. Not that Sander needed convincing. But this time he had to resist. They were on a schedule, after all.</p><p>“Who said we’d have to wait til tomorrow?” Sander finally chose to say, head slightly tilted to the side, looking away with a smirk. </p><p>At that, Robbe’s eyes got a bit bigger and his mouth opened a little, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he dropped Sander’s hand, picked up a croissant from the paper bag, and took a bite. He chewed in silence, as Sander savored his “victory,” but above all the knowledge that Robbe wanted him so badly he was ready to pout and use his last-resort card. He tried not think that he himself was only able to keep it together because of what he’d plan for Robbe that day, and that was hardly enough. Finally, he grabbed a croissant too, hoping to distract himself from the delicious yearning that had flickered on right under his skin.</p><p>***</p><p>“Come on, we have to go!” Sander pressed, grabbing Robbe by his tee shirt and starting to head towards the bedroom door. </p><p>“I don’t even know where we’re going!” Robbe answered laughing, following Sander anyways.</p><p>He was hopping on one foot while still trying to tye the other’s shoelaces. Sander stopped.</p><p>“Thank you,” Robbe said, finishing up.</p><p>“Allée, come!” </p><p>Sander could barely contain his excitement. 2 seconds later he had a backpack he’d prepared earlier on his shoulder, Robbe’s hand in his, and he was leading him out of the apartment and into the street. The sun was already high in the sky and Sander turned around just in time for time to stop and for him to see Robbe’s pupils, reacting to the blinding light of day, become tiny, to see his irises reveal specks of gold amid the deep deep green. Sander’s mouth fell open a little bit and Robbe smiled. </p><p>As if not satisfied with simply holding Sander’s hand in his, Robbe grabbed Sander’s arm with his right hand too, letting his head rest against Sander’s upper arm. And Sander wanted nothing else in the whole world. He loved Robbe being all over him. Even when they were walking down the street. In part because it was a testament to how far Robbe had come. For a long while reluctant to show affection in places that were too public, he was now comfortable enough to be as clingy outside as he was inside, although Sander could still feel him holding back a bit at night. </p><p>Sander was taking it all in, the clear light of the sun and the glistening green of new blossoms and the people they passed on the sidewalk and the fluffy ribbons of clouds against the blue blue sky, his whole right arm completely wrapped in Robbe’s embrace. He felt grateful. He could barely believe this was all happening, could barely believe he got to exist there, with Robbe. </p><p>As they reached a cherry tree in full bloom, as his mind felt like it was trying to memorize it all while simultaneously planning already all the ways in which he could sketch this and paint this and draw this, Sander stopped in his tracks. And Robbe who was about to continue walking looked back at him confused. And Sander got lost in the features of his face and his messy hair and his eyes and finally his mind stopped. And he smiled with relief because he didn’t have anything else to do other than exist there and then. Under Robbe’s gaze and in his arms. In the warmth of the early summer sun, under the cherry tree.</p><p>And it was like his mind could only perceive colors then. The white, almost pink, blossoms on the tree and on the ground around them; the dark brown of the branches and the trunk; the soft beige pink of Robbe’s right hand rising to cup his face, reminding him to breathe. And the darker shade of Robbe’s lips rising to meet his, inviting him to close his eyes and follow him to this place where only they existed, where Robbe’s touch was the only thing grounding him. His lips pressing and urgent, as if looking for a way to get even closer to him. “I’m alive,” a voice kept whispering inside of Sander. And he kissed Robbe back like it was the first time, like it was the last time, as if this wasn’t the way Robbe made him feel on a regular basis. </p><p>There was mischief in Robbe’s eyes as he broke the kiss. </p><p>“So where are we going?” he asked, trying to sound innocent.</p><p>Sander smiled at how Robbe now knew him so well, knew to kiss him silly before asking for something. But Sander stayed firm. He wouldn’t reveal anything. He ignored the question and simply took Robbe’s hand, heading towards the train station. On the way, Sander would close his eyes at times, soaking in the light and warmth of the sun, all his senses focused on the hand holding on to his, the light breeze ruffling up the newborn leaves in the trees, and the knowledge of that blue blue sky above him.</p><p>They took their time but finally got to the train station and just before they got in, Sander had a mischievous smirk on his face when he turned to Robbe.</p><p>“I don’t have a blindfold so I’m going to use your hands to hide your eyes,” he warned him.</p><p>Robbe barely had the time to ask a startled “What?!” before Sander stood behind him, taking Robbe’s hands and placing them on Robbe’s eyes. He took a look at the departures board and awkwardly guided Robbe towards the platform, keeping his hands on top of Robbe’s. </p><p>“Are we there yet?” Robbe kept asking. “I could just close my eyes, you know.”</p><p>But Sander wouldn’t budge. With both their train tickets in his back pocket, he took Robbe to the door to one of the train cars.</p><p>“Careful with the steps. We’re going up.”</p><p>“Didn’t know this surprise was going to involve acrobatics.”</p><p>“Oh yes, it does. And you haven’t seen anything yet,” Sander answered, teasing. </p><p>He led Robbe inside the train and made sure he wouldn’t be able to see the destination from where he sat. He wanted to keep his secret as long as he could – which would be until the conductor would announce the destination as they left the station. </p><p>“Thank you,” Robbe said as he settled comfortably in his seat and pushed up the armrest, looking at Sander.</p><p>“For what? You don’t even know where we’re going!”</p><p>“Wherever we’re going, we’ll be together, and that’s what matters. That’s what I missed. So, thank you.”</p><p>“Anytime, my Love. You’re right, wherever with you will be heaven anyway. But the destination does matter, and this is my best surprise yet.”</p><p>“Should I ‘get ready to be mind blown’?” Robbe asked, teasing.<br/>“Hey! Don’t make fun of me!” Sander exclaimed, poking Robbe in the ribs, causing him to twitch on his seat.</p><p>Right then, an announcement echoed in the entire train: “This train terminates at Ostende. It will stop in Antwerp-Berchem, Antwerp-Zuid, Beveren, Sint-Niklaas, Lokeren, Gent-Dampoort, Gent-Sint-Pieters, Brugge, and Ostende.” Sander looked at Robbe, waiting for his reaction. Technically, the announcement did not reveal their final destination as they still had a bus to catch after that. But one thing was for sure: they were headed to the coast.</p><p>“I knew it,” Robbe simply said, shaking his head with a triumphant smile on his face.</p><p>“Oh yeah? And what do you know exactly? This tells you nothing of our final destination.”</p><p>“Of course, it does!”</p><p>“Alright. Let’s hear it.”</p><p>“Hear what?”</p><p>“Your great guess at where we’re going!”</p><p>“We’re going to the beach, to where we first met.”</p><p>“You sure?” Sander asked.</p><p>“Why? What do I win if I’m right?”</p><p>“Oh, you already think you’re going to win this! How do you know we’re not going to Bruges or Brussels or somewhere completely different?”</p><p>“What do I win if I’m right?” Robbe insisted playfully.</p><p>“If you lose, I’ll decide what I get,” Sander said with a smirk.</p><p>Robbe’s eyes opened wide, a half-offended, half-exasperated smile on his face, as the train left the station. At that last comment, he turned to straddle Sander. On a mid-morning weekday, they were almost alone in the train car and Robbe had no doubt taken advantage.</p><p>“You’re so annoying,” Robbe said, his face very close to Sander’s. “I love you so damn much,” he added, shaking his head a little.</p><p>And Sander remembered – at the exact moment when Robbe gently cupped his face with his hands and guided it up for a kiss – Sander remembered why sometimes when Robbe wasn’t with him, he thought he’d made him up. This perfect combination of adorable and so very hot. They kissed and what started out as chaste quickly turned to burning and Robbe’s tongue tasted delicious and Sander was starting to wonder if passing on the opportunity to take a shower with Robbe this morning was such a good idea. Perhaps Robbe felt it too because he broke the kiss softly, not without one last peck and a forehead kiss for good measure, and went back to his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyways, tell your friends you won’t be available for the next 4 days,” Sander finally said, in an attempt to distract himself from what had just happened. “I already warned your mama, and mine.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“Oh yeah.”</p><p>Robbe didn’t insist after that. He simply sent a collective text which Sander read over his shoulder: “Apparently I’ve been a good boy. It’s not Christmas but I’m going on a little vacation and I won’t be available during that time. See you in 4 days, guys.” He also sent a short text to his mama even though Sander had already talked to her. Of course he did. After that he actually switched off his phone. </p><p>“You didn’t have to do that.”</p><p>“But I want to,” Robbe assured him. “You organized this whole thing. Now let’s do it properly. I want just us for the next 4 days. It’s going to be perfect. Even though it’s not a surprise anymore, because I know where we’re going,” he added, teasing.</p><p>Now it was Sander’s turn to shake his head in disbelief and cup Robbe’s face and kiss him. Because this was already a most perfect day. </p><p>After that Sander settled for the rest of the train ride. Soon his head was on Robbe’s chest and Robbe’s left arm was enveloping him and Robbe’s right hand was gently caressing his forehead and playing in his hair. They each had one earphone. Sander had let Robbe be in charge of the playlist. He’d chosen the one he’d created a few weeks back, Bowie covers. </p><p>Sander had actually been extremely reluctant to give these songs a chance. How could they compare to the originals? But after weeks, even months, of Robbe insisting and making him listen to different takes and versions, he’d had to admit that some of them did have merits. They were incomparable to Bowie’s genius obviously, but as separate entities, taken as something new, some were actually okay.</p><p>And so the whole world reduced to just that: Aurora’s voice singing “Life on Mars,” his entire being enveloped in Robbe’s arms, in the warmth of him, Robbe’s lips regularly leaving light kisses on his head, his heartbeat echoing in Sander’s ear. Everything he had missed during those long weeks of studying and exams and being apart. And Sander’s mind, usually bursting with a thousand thoughts going 10,000 miles a minute, went quiet. And he didn’t want to fall asleep because he wanted to be in that moment. That bubble of calm and pure love.</p><p>Neither of them said anything when they didn’t get off at Bruges. Sander was focused on trying to simply exist in Robbe’s arms and nothing more that he barely noticed. And he knew anyway that in this game they played, there could be no losers. Only love. </p><p>***</p><p>At Ostende, they got off, hand in hand again. Backpack on his left shoulder. Sander guided Robbe to bus 68. And still they didn’t make any comments. There was no sitting room at first, so they stood, Robbe clinging to Sander, arms around his waist as Sander hung on to a handle grip.</p><p>After a few stops, they found 2 empty seats. This time, it was Robbe’s turn to rest his head on Sander’s shoulder while Sander looked out the window to the sea. After a couple of minutes, he took out his sketchbook from his bag and started sketching the view, encouraged by Robbe’s stolen, baby bird kisses on his shoulder and arm. Sander always felt both peace and melancholy when he saw the sea. The immensity and absolute beauty made him and his problems feel minuscule, which was oddly comforting, but he also remembered summer days on the coast as a child, and he couldn’t prevent the feeling of loss that crept. He found himself secretly hoping to make new, happy memories there with Robbe.</p><p>Sander, still sketching, trying to capture the calm surface of the sea, disrupted only by the sun reflected upon it.</p><p>“This is good,” Robbe suddenly said.</p><p>Sander thought he was talking about his drawing and took his eyes of his sketchbook for a second to look at him. But Robbe’s eyes were simply looking at nothing in particular.</p><p>“What is?”</p><p>“Everything,” Robbe answered with a smile, this time looking back at him.</p><p>Sander smiled. He stroke Robbe’s cheek softly with the back of his left hand. Robbe settled back comfortably into the seat, his head on Sander’s shoulder. Sander went back to sketching. As he did, he thought back to that time he’d asked Robbe what he wanted in life. And Robbe, after an instinctive “I don’t know,” after thinking about it for a second or 2, had said “just a simple life.” After a moment, he added: “I think I’ve had enough drama to last me a lifetime.” And Sander knew what he meant. And then Robbe said something both unexpected and completely obvious. “A simple life with you.” </p><p>And Sander had pictured it then and still could as he looked out the bus window at the quiet sea. A life with Robbe. Sleeping together, waking up together, breakfast. Whispered secrets under the covers and laughter. Dinner dates and friends. Growing up, growing old. But before his imagination could take him far, Robbe added: “I also want to see the world.” And a new, metaphorical door opened in front of Sander’s eyes, new paths of projects and adventures and fun. And Robbe’s green-brown eyes always. He’d taken a step forward then. He’d extended his arms and held Robbe, as close as he could. A silent promise to go with him always and never let go.</p><p>And speaking of adventure, they were reaching their stop. Sander quickly put away his sketchbook and pen in his bag and took Robbe’s hands. “Come.” They got off the bus. </p><p>“What did I tell you!” Robbe said with a triumphant smile as he recognized the place they’d officially met for the first time over 6 months before.</p><p>“And what shall be your reward, dear sir?” Sander asked playfully.</p><p>“I shall ponder on it and let you know once I have come to a decision.”</p><p>Robbe was busy pretending to be serious and it took him a few seconds to realize Sander wasn’t guiding him towards the beach.</p><p>“Wait, we’re not going to the house?”</p><p>“Well, we need to eat at some point, don’t we?”</p><p>Sander winked at him before leading the way to the supermarket where they’d spent their first moments alone together. After a few fast and determined steps though, he slowed down, looked back at Robbe, and extended his left hand. Robbe trotted quickly towards him to take it, smiling. And Sander felt like the happiest and luckiest person in the world.</p><p>***<br/>“This is where I fell for you,” Robbe announced in the condiment aisle.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Sander was pushing the cart and adding whatever he wanted in, and Robbe knew better than to try and help or argue with some of his choices.</p><p>“I mean I probably didn’t really understand then, but you were going on and on about Bowie, and it’s stupid but I’m pretty sure after that moment I would have followed you anywhere.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah. As long as you talked about it with the same passion, I would have gone anywhere with you. Actually now that I think about it, I could barely stay away from you then. The more you talked, the more I leaned in. On that stupid cart.”</p><p>“The power of Bowie 101.”</p><p>“Don’t look so smug! You were completely ridiculous too. You went way too far!”</p><p>“What?!” Sander asked, almost offended.</p><p>“Dude, you practically faked an orgasm in the middle of the aisle when you heard ‘Rebel Rebel’!”</p><p>“What? I didn’t fake anything. This is the effect Bowie always has on me.”</p><p>“You mimed! You MIMED! Don’t tell me that just naturally happened.”</p><p>“It did!”</p><p>Robbe shook his head.</p><p>“And also I needed to make an impression. I mean we were about to spend a week together but I wasn’t sure I’d get another moment with you alone. Plus it worked,” Sander added.</p><p>“You didn’t need to make an impression you know. I would have fallen for you anyways.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Sander teased.</p><p>“You know me,” Robbe teased in turn. “I’m a sucker for a good croque.”</p><p>Sander took a half-offended look, soothed only by Robbe’s kiss. And as much as he cherished their first memory there, he felt grateful for this re-do. Of course, there was a lot they weren’t saying. He didn’t tell him how nervous and downright terrified he really was of saying or doing the wrong thing, how amazed he was at how good he actually felt with Robbe, how encouraged he felt at every single one of his reactions, a hope he didn’t dare hope.</p><p>***<br/>As they came in view of the house, Sander’s pace instinctively accelerated.</p><p>“Come!”<br/>“Wait! You rented the exact house?”</p><p>“I rented the exact house.”</p><p>“No way. How long have you been planning this? Sander, this is too much!”</p><p>At this, Sander stopped to look at Robbe. He was having a déjà vu but chose to ignore it. He remembered what he had said then, but chose not to repeat. Didn’t want to risk the rest of that memory coming back to haunt them.</p><p>“A while…”</p><p>“Alright, keep your secrets.”</p><p>“You know I always do.”</p><p>They reached the house and before even getting inside, Sander dropped all his bag to the ground on the porch. He was determined to make new, perfect memories there with Robbe. To exist in this moment and this moment only. For a few days, they were free.</p><p>“Race you to the sea?”</p><p>He was already running. Robbe followed him. As they got closer and closer to the sea, half tripping on the sand, they started taking off their shoes and socks and tee shirts and pants. Because it was the middle of the day, and there were a few people on the beach, they kept their underwear on. Sander was about to be transported back to another memory, nonetheless. But the sea, the cold water crashing against his ankles and then his calves and then his thighs stopped him in his tracks, stopped his mind in its tracks, and brought him back to there and then. The present. His present to Robbe. Robbe who had just started getting the water and was screaming about how cold it was. Robbe who stopped too and looked at him. Robbe who took his hand and came to stand in front of him. And Sander breathed and closed his eyes, his two feet stable in the sand.</p><p>“I love you,” Sander said.</p><p>“I’m so happy,” Robbe answered in a whisper. “You make me so happy, Sander Driessen.”</p><p>Robbe placed his hands on each side of Sander’s face softly and kissed him.</p><p>“I never knew love could be like this,” Robbe went on after a while. “You showed me. Thank you. And thank you for this.” He gestured toward the house and the beach. “Being with you here, it is perfect.”</p><p>He kissed him again and Sander felt so loved. He wanted to say thank you but he didn’t know how and for what exactly. So he just let himself be kissed and be held for a little while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Truth is I wasn't really planning on ending the fic here. I had one more scene. But this ending just felt right. I'll see if I change my mind. </p><p>I often use the phrase "Sleeping together. Waking up together. Breakfast." It's not mine, it's from "Now is Good."</p></blockquote></div></div>
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